


The Sky He Lost

by winryofresembool



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: (kinda), Angst, Ed Al and Winry's lives are tragic, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, Pre Trisha's death, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 23:10:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17876534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winryofresembool/pseuds/winryofresembool
Summary: After Van Hohenheim leaves his home, Edward is struggling to deal with his emotions.





	The Sky He Lost

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was a gift for silverfangirl15 on tumblr. Her wish was: “Young Ed and Al before their mom’s death” and she wanted to see how they reacted to Hohenheim leaving. This fic is definitely more Ed focused but that’s because Al was so small at that point I don’t think he understood the situation as well as Ed did. And because I’m me, I had to include some kid!Edwin too :P I am quite proud of how this fic turned out, but it wouldn’t have taken the form it did without my awesome beta reader Emma who was so very helpful, so thank you once again ♥ And thank you to @criis55 for the ideas too ♥ Now, enjoy and please do review because trust me I want to know!!

“Boys! Winry is here!” Trisha Elric yelled at her two sons.

A couple of days had gone by since her husband* had left the house, but she had barely seen her sons since then. Edward seemed to start taking an interest in his father’s book collection, and since Alphonse followed his big brother everywhere, he was also hidden behind a huge book pile even though he had just recently started recognizing letters. Trisha didn’t really know what to think of this change. It seemed to be her sons’ way of coping with what had happened with their father, but Ed seemed to take it to the extreme: last night she had found the golden-haired boy so much like his father asleep in Van Hohenheim’s library, tears streaking his face and his cheek pressed against a hard book cover. During the day he was acting tough, as if trying to convince her things would be OK, but the wet-cheeked little boy she had carried into his bed at night proved otherwise. He thought Hohenheim wasn’t coming back. And he didn’t take that information well. Trisha’s heart clenched even more when she realized the book Ed had been reading was one his father had read him and Al before bedtime countless of times.

Shaking her head to stop her train of thoughts, Trisha was relieved to notice that her boys did bother to come down from the library this time. A day after Hohenheim leaving, their kindergarten mate Pitt had tried to ask them to come out and play. That time Ed had stubbornly claimed he didn’t feel like playing because ‘playing was for kids’, and Pitt had had to leave with a disappointed expression on his face. Winry seemed to be a different story though.

Trisha had always thought her sons (especially Edward) had a soft spot for the neighbor girl. Sure, Ed and Winry got into arguments a lot, but they always made up in the end and had fun playing together, at least until they got into another argument. One time a boy from kindergarten had wanted to walk Winry home, and Ed had seethed with anger for the rest of the day. Another time Ed’s teachers informed her Ed had punched someone at the kindergarten, and when she asked why he did it, he explained: “he said Winry is stupid.”

“But Edward, you told Winry the same thing yesterday! How is that any different?” Trisha scolded him.

“It IS different! I don’t mean it.” Ed said quietly, staring at his feet awkwardly.

“Oh? Have you told her that?” Trisha wanted to know.

“No. Should I?” Ed asked, suddenly looking ashamed.

“Of course you should. One day she’s really going to think you think she’s stupid,” Trisha noted, casually continuing her work after that and leaving Ed to consider his words.

After that Ed seemed to speak to Winry slightly nicer, although being the two stubborn kids they were, that didn’t prevent them from getting into occasional fights. Alphonse, despite being the youngest, was usually the one who managed to calm them down. That was a huge relief for his mother because she had enough work to do even without getting between the kids’ constant arguments.

Trisha wondered if Pinako had told Winry about Van Hohenheim and she had come to see if she could cheer the boys up. Based on her happy expression, though, she started suspecting that Winry hadn’t heard the news yet. When she and the boys sat down in the kitchen to drink some orange juice and eat freshly baked pie, Winry started explaining the reason for her excitement.

“Mum and dad are coming home for a visit tomorrow! We just got the letter!”

“Oh? That’s nice!” Trisha said, worried her sons (or rather, just Edward) would not react well to the news because of their father. She could already feel Ed’s glare on her.

“They’ll not believe their eyes when I show them how much I’ve learned since they last saw me!” Winry continued excitedly. “I can already build a toy car from steel. And one day I will build an automail limb, I swear.”

“Big deal,” Ed huffed. “When our dad comes back, we can already build a life size car with alchemy, right, Al?”

Trisha glanced at her son sadly. His words contradicted with how he was acting when he thought no one was seeing, and she knew he was just putting on an act.

“Of course!” Al agreed, even though he was more interested in eating his pie than participating in the conversation.

“Wait… what has happened to your dad? He isn’t here?” Winry asked, frowning as she processed the information.

“Nothing happened to him,” Ed said, his voice telling Winry to not ask any more questions.

“He… just has an important mission somewhere,” Trisha added, but Winry wasn’t stupid. She could see something was going on. Just when the little girl was about to ask something, Ed got up from his seat and took his plate and drink with him, storming out of the room.

“What was that about?” she asked once Ed was out of hearing distance.

Trisha decided it was better for Winry to know the truth. “I think… I think he got upset when you told about your parents… because the thing is, we don’t know when my husband returns. It could be soon, but it could also take years. I don’t think my husband knows it either.”

“Oh. I’m sorry,” Winry said, really meaning it. “I can go and talk to Ed.”

She thought her experiences on absent parents could be helpful to Ed. However, it turned out she was wrong, because soon Trisha could hear Ed’s carrying voice all the way to the kitchen:

“I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP! IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! AND WHAT DO YOU EVEN CARE, YOUR PARENTS ARE COMING HOME TO SEE YOU SOON, RIGHT? SO GO HOME AND LEAVE ME ALONE.”

Winry ran back downstairs, tears falling down her face. She didn’t even say goodbye to Al and Trisha when she pulled her shoes on and left the house.

Even though Ed had always been more challenging to raise than Al, there weren’t that many times that Trisha had truly gotten angry at her son. Usually he understood himself when he had crossed the line and tried to fix the situation in his own way. But this time his mother couldn’t just stand there and see him hurt his best friend just because he was hurting.

“Edward Elric,” she started threateningly. “I will not allow you to talk to your friend that way. Do you understand? Winry was only worried about you! She wanted to help you. You had better apologize to her when you see her again at the kindergarten tomorrow.”

“What? I’m not going there! You said we…” Ed tried to protest, remembering well how Trisha had promised the boys could take a few days off so they could spend more time together.

“You are going there. And you will apologize to her. I will ask Winry personally if you did.” Trisha didn’t want to admit she did have also another reason for sending the boys to the daycare the next day. She had a doctor’s appointment, just to make sure… but it was far too early to worry the boys with that yet.

“Fine,” Ed growled and hid his face behind a book to let his mother know he was done talking about this topic.

Trisha didn’t give up so easily, though. Sitting down on Ed’s bed, she took the book from his hands and set it on the table out of the boy’s reach. Ed groaned and gave her the darkest look he could master before burying his face into a pillow. If there was something that made him regret his actions faster than anything else, it was his mother’s sad eyes, and he couldn’t let himself fall into that trap again.

Sighing, Trisha finally spoke:

“Edward, we need to talk about this. I know you are hurting. Please, talk to me. Tell me what’s in your mind.”

“I… I think dad hates me.” She could finally hear a broken voice from under the pillow.

“Why would you think that way?” Trisha asked. In her opinion, Hohenheim had always showed he cared about the kids a lot… Although, now that she thought of it, he did it in his own, reserved way that may be hard for a child to pick.

“Because he just left! And didn’t even say anything!” Ed shouted and threw the pillow on the floor with anger. “What kind of dad does that?!”

For a moment Trisha didn’t know what to say. “Ed… you may not believe me right now, but… he definitely doesn’t hate you. He cares about both of you so, so much.”

“Then why did he leave?” Ed asked bitterly.

“Because he had to,” Trisha tried to explain patiently. “You are too small to understand, but one day you will…”

“I’m not small!” Ed protested, simply the use of the s-word making him furious.

“That is not what I meant.” Trisha sighed again, her patience starting to grow thin. Still, she continued calmly: “Just listen to what I have to say now. Remember how your dad made you the swing? Or read you one of his books? Or bought Al that cat plush even though I said you guys already had enough of them? Or comforted you when you had nightmares? Does a person who doesn’t care do that?”

“I… I don’t…” Ed stuttered.

“You may not understand this yet, but the reason why he left without saying anything was because the thought of seeing your sad faces… it hurt him so much. Like you are hurting now.” She put a hand on Ed’s heart, trying to make Ed understand. The little boy finally reached his breaking point and inched closer to his mother, sobbing uncontrollably against her shoulder until his breathing got calmer. He had fallen asleep. Trisha stroked his hair, mumbling quietly even though he couldn’t hear her anymore: “Please, forgive him. One day… one day, you might need each other.”

After setting Ed back in his bed, Trisha noticed that Al was standing behind the door, apparently too afraid to come inside. “Come here, darling.” Al did just that, sprinting onto his mother’s lap.

“Will brother be OK?” he asked worriedly.

“He will, Alphonse, I’m sure of it.”

As she hugged her youngest son tightly, she felt thankful Al was still too young to understand the whole situation. Quietly, she sent her prayer to the stars she could see through the window: “Hohenheim, please come back soon. Before it’s too late.”

…

“Stupid kindergarten, stupid Winry, stupid mum.”

The next day, Edward and Alphonse went to the kindergarten like planned, but Ed wasn’t particularly thrilled about it. Normally Winry, who occasionally joined the boys so she could play with kids of her age, would have walked with them. This time, however, Pinako and she were walking with Charlie, a boy from their class, and the two kids seemed to be having a lot of fun together. That didn’t help to ease Ed’s annoyance towards the girl, and when they finally arrived at their destination, he didn’t feel like apologizing to her. When Winry glanced at his way briefly, she looked so sad and hurt that it only made Ed angrier. He didn’t understand it was because he was angry at himself for making her so upset for a stupid reason. After all, it was like his mother had said: she only wanted to help.

Until lunch the day progressed quite normally; playing outside, crafting and other typical kindergarten activities. Even Ed managed to forget about the upsetting home situation for a moment. But once the kids sat down to eat their meals, one of the boys asked: “Hey, Ed, is it true what my mother said? That your father just left?”

Ed simply glared at him, clenching his small fists. He had never liked this boy because he was constantly bragging about a great new toy he had gotten or a new place his dad had taken him to see. The boy had also spread some rumors about seeing Ed and Winry kissing when they were walking home together, which was entirely untrue. Ew, Ed thought, Winry had girl cooties and was way too annoying that he’d ever want to do that! Finally, he managed to retort:

“I don’t know, Tom, but I heard that you are getting a fist in your face real soon if you don’t shut up.”

Tom eyed Ed suspiciously, wondering if the golden eyed boy would really attack him in front of all the kindergarten teachers. He knew Ed wasn’t afraid to fight but usually he wasn’t that forward about it. He was his mother’s golden boy and didn’t want her to know about his shenanigans, or that was at least what the other kids claimed. But still, Tom had to admit he was slightly afraid of the smaller boy.

“You… you don’t want to fight me here,” he answered, although uncertainly, and decided to move to eat at another table.

From the corner of his eye Ed could see Winry looking at him with an expression that was hard to read. There was anger in it, but also a hint of… sadness? Worry? Ed started lapping food into his mouth in an outrageous speed pretending he didn’t notice anything, and the little girl sighed. That was so typical Edward behavior.

“What are you staring at?” Ed suddenly stopped eating, making Winry realize she must have been watching him longer than intended.

“Nothing.” Winry glared at him and rose from the table as well, joining Nelly who had already finished her lunch.

“Big brother… didn’t mum say you should tell her you’re sorry?” Al noted once he had listened to enough Ed’s mumbling under his breath.

“But she doesn’t want to be apologized to,” Ed growled and told his little brother to mind his own business.

…

It was almost time for Trisha to pick the boys up, but Ed still hadn’t managed to apologize to Winry. After the lunch she had stuck with her girl friends and tried to ignore Ed the best she could, although when she thought Ed wasn’t watching, she still threw worried looks at his direction. Maybe Ed would have stayed quiet the entire day if Pinako Rockbell hadn’t arrived before Trisha to take Winry home. At first the girl’s face lit up with excitement because she thought her grandmother had come early to tell her her parents were finally home, but the excitement soon turned into tears. Ed overheard Pinako saying:

“I’m sorry dear, there was some big incident and your parents need to stay there for at least a few more weeks… Your father said they are not sure how long exactly it will take. But don’t worry, I’m sure they will come back soon enough. They sent you a lot of hugs and kisses.”

Ed was used to seeing Pinako as the strict grandparent who made sure Winry wasn’t slacking off, and who wasn’t afraid to yell at him and Al too whenever they did something she didn’t approve of, so this soft side surprised her. Her parents’ return must have been really important to Winry.

Suddenly it occurred to Ed that Winry’s situation wasn’t really that different from his. He had never before stopped to think that Winry must miss her parents a lot, but now that he saw Winry’s expression, he understood how she felt. And he felt bitter for her friend. How couldn’t her parents understand she wanted them home? Surely there would be other doctors that could help around while they were gone! Ed couldn’t stand that and decided it was finally his time to apologize.

“Winry…” he said surprisingly quietly when he approached her. Pinako watched the two of them curiously.

“What do you want now?” Winry hissed, narrowing her eyes like a cat and swiping her tears away. “If you came here because you…”

“No! I mean… Listen… I’m sorry. I said some mean things yesterday. I didn’t mean them.”

Winry wasn’t expecting Ed to apologize, so she stopped glaring at him and nodded, waiting for Ed to continue.

“I just… dad and…” he stammered, trying to get full sentences out of his mouth. “Can we go to your place?” He asked suddenly. “I don’t want everyone staring.”

“You will have to tell your mother first,” Pinako noted. “She wants to know where you two are. Alphonse, will you come with us?”

“Sure!” the younger Elric brother exclaimed and excused his friend with whom he was building sand animals. The teachers knew the Elrics lived right next to the Rockbells so they just nodded their goodbyes when the trio left with Pinako.

…

After having dropped Al off (Ed claimed someone had seen a kitten at their yard the other day, so he happily stayed home trying to look for it) Ed and Winry went into Winry’s room to talk. Both sat down on her neatly made bed, Winry pulling her legs closer to her body as she was waiting for Ed to start the conversation. Ed looked around for a moment, taking in all the metal toys and some failed experiments Winry had in her room. She had once told him making them made her feel less sad. Based on the amount of toys, she must have felt sad a lot lately… How had he failed to notice?

“So…” Ed started awkwardly.

“So…” Winry repeated.

“I… I think I understand how you feel now.” Ed blurted out eventually, shifting uncomfortably on the bed.

“Huh?” Winry asked, confused.

“You’re mad at your parents, right?” Ed elaborated. “Because they are not here.”

“I… I don’t want to be!” She said quickly, her voice shriller than usual. “I know those people need their help! So I’m trying to understand…”

A weird feeling Ed didn’t recognize filled him for a moment, when he realized his friend had entirely different approach to her situation than he did. Winry tried her best to endure, even if it hurt.

“But sometimes you still wonder why they don’t just stay here,” he finished for Winry.

“Yeah… What if they don’t like me?” she asked, confirming Ed they had similar suspicions about their parents.

“Don’t be stupid!” he exclaimed. He had seen Winry with her parents many times and he knew they cared. Besides, this was Winry, his best friend they were talking about. “Of course they like you. How could they not?”

“W-what do you mean?” Winry asked.

Ed blushed slightly. He wasn’t used to telling what he really felt. “Y-you’re the nicest person I know. Well, maybe after my mum,” he was quick to add. “When you’re not throwing stuff. Anyway, I still think they would have to be pretty dumb to not notice that.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever told me.” Winry looked at him with awe. “Sometimes I’ve thought you think I’m stupid because you always repeat that…”

“You’re such a gearhead.” For the first time in days a tiny smile played on Ed’s lips. “Of course I don’t think that way. You’re my best friend!”

“And you’re my best friend,” Winry answered, trying to brush the wetness away from the corner of her eye before Ed could see.

“Hey, are you crying again?” Ed, who had of course noticed, freaked out, always hating to see her cry.

“Don’t worry, it’s just a happy tear.” Winry tried to calm him down. “Thanks, Ed. I’m feeling much better now. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed… I worry about my parents a lot… And I was worried about you and Al too. I’m really sorry about your dad.”

“The worst part is hearing my mum crying,” Ed said quietly. “She doesn’t cry in front of us but sometimes she withdraws into her room and I can hear her… And then I get so angry at my dad!”

“Your mum said he has some important mission,” Winry noted. “Sort of like my parents.”

“It doesn’t matter how important it is, he still left,” Ed growled, although the sharpest edge was already gone from his voice.

“And now you are worried he hates you,” Winry finally understood what Ed had been talking about this entire time. Gently, she nudged him on the shoulder. “Hey, I’m sure he still cares about you a lot. He would have to be pretty dumb to not.” She repeated Ed’s earlier phrase and ruffled his hair like he always did when he tried to comfort her.

“When you say that… I feel I can almost believe it.” Ed answered, and leaned his head against her shoulder, which was easy because she was quite a bit taller than him.

Maybe that conversation didn’t remove all of Ed’s worries, but he felt a lot lighter after talking with Winry. It made him understand he wasn’t alone with his issue.


End file.
